Today marks the end of my second week living on campus. I’d like to say I’m adjusting well but to be honest, I just don’t think it’s hit me yet.
I actually live on my own now.
Well I mean, sort of. I live with roommates, but none of whom are responsible for me, that’s my job. I have to remember to eat well, shower every once in a while, not let my laundry pile get too big before I get around to actually washing, etc. I still need to work on keeping a budget but needless to say that’s not working out too well.
Before I came here I actually took care of myself pretty well, surprisingly. My diet was reasonably healthy, I exercised occasionally and I hardly ever drank alcohol. Like, ever.
So to excuse this poor behaviour that I’ve recently acquired, I like to tell myself that moving away from home is a huge change (which is true) and it takes time to adjust to a new normal (which is also true), but it will happen eventually (I hope).
I continue to tell myself this despite the fact that I know the adjustment won’t happen on its own, I need to make it happen. I guess these are my old procrastination habits returning after not being around for nearly a year. I’m sure they will keep showing up as the year goes on, especially when assignment due dates start edging closer… but that’s an issue for another day.
For now, I need to focus on getting my life together. Adjusting to my new normal now, not later. And to do that I need to move forward, take what I’ve learned in the past and use that to help me change; keep the good, get rid of the bad. I need to stop thinking of this move as temporary and start thinking in the long term. Truly think of this as my home, not some place I stay during the week before I return home to Sydney on the weekends.
As I’m transitioning into this new version of myself, it’s hard for me to accept that certain aspects of my life are guaranteed to change. The everyday routine that I developed over the past year provided me with a sense of comfort and gave me no incentive to change my situation. However, I’m starting to realise that I can’t get too comfortable limiting myself, and that my new normal, living away from home and going to school again, is exactly what I need in order to change for the better.